Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Would You Rather He Wasn't Autistic?


A close friend of mine had the audacity to ask me a question that had me thinking long and hard - would you rather he wasn't autistic? The Miss Universe answer would be "No, because I love my child just the way he is" but after giving it some serious thought, my actual answer would be a big "YES!" If I were given the chance to trade autistic for non-autistic then I would in a heartbeat. I love my bear more than anything in this world but I have to say it has been difficult and heartbreaking at times because of the problems brought about by the dreaded A word. If he weren't autistic I'm guessing life would be easier for him and me, but it is what it is and so we play the hand we're dealt. "And so it is just like you said it would be, life goes easy on me most of the time...♬♪♬♪♬

Somewhat Normal


It has been a while since I felt anything changing for the better in our little corner on Autism Avenue but now I am happy to say that I think me and my bear are inching our way towards becoming somewhat normal. By no means are we close to being the typical single mama and her sweet little boy... but lately there have been fleeting moments of bliss where I forget that he is a child with special needs... and the world doesn't seem like it is such a cruel place for little boys who are not quite like everyone else... there have been tiny, rare moments when he is just like any other kid happily playing with his toys, free from any problem related to Autism. Reliving these happy moments in my mind get me through the difficult days. I can now say with confidence that I trust that the Infinite will lead me and my little bear somewhere better than where we are at the moment.