a glimpse of me... LOL

1.) Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

>>> 5 years from now i'll be happily settled in makati with my little bear... he'd be attending regular school... i'd be back at work... our home life would be peaceful... the nanny would be reliable... a boyfriend or husband in the picture would be nice, too (optional! LOL)... and i'd be fit and trim and fabulous... and every now and then, me and my bear will be going off to awesome vacation destinations...

2.) How happy are you with your appearance?

>>> not so much... lots of room for improvement!

3.) What is the one thing you wish you could change about yourself?

>>> i wish i had more guts to make things happen now...

4.) What is the one thing you like most about yourself?

>>> i like how thorough i am in taking care of my kid...

5.) What is the one thing you regret the most in your life?

>>> i regret using people like they were disposable commodities... if i were to go back in time, i would not have gotten into relationships just for the sake of having one... i would have been more considerate of other people's feelings...

6.) Do you feel you had a happy childhood?

>>> yes, a happy childhood...

7.) Were you deprived or abused in any way as a child?

>>> no...

8.) How do you feel about your mother?

>>> tricky question... love her... hate her...

9.) How do you feel about your father?

>>> he's ok... sometimes i'm proud of him... sometimes he's embarrassing...

10.) How do you feel about your parent's relationship?

>>> i don't really care about their relationship...

11.) Do you feel closer to your mother or father?

>>> neither...

12.) Do you still talk to any of your childhood friends?

>>> yes... some are still my closest friends even now that we're in our 30s

13.) How many close friends do you have?

>>> a handfull...

14.) Do you like to gossip?

>>> of course...

15.) How do you feel about church and religion?

>>> i feel that prayer should be a personal matter between you and your god...
i don't go to church much... not very religious...

16.) What are your political views?

>>> i don't really give a damn...

17.) How do you feel about children?

>>> i love my kid... enough said

18.) Where is your favorite place to go?

>>> i like dining out with my girlfriends to places that serve good food and drinks...

19.) What do you like to do on weekends or in your spare time?

>>> watch movies and television shows... read books... cuddle up with my bear...

20.) Do you consider yourself outgoing?

>>> no. i know i need to put myself out there... soon!!!

this is me... the wicked witch! hihihihihi

what i love about you

3 random things i love about my little autistic bear:


>>> he doesn't cry the way a regular kid does: boohuhuhu = boring!!! this is how he cries: he cries out words in alphabetical order... apple, ball, cat, dog, elephant with huge tears falling down his flustered face... hearing this for the first time just made me laugh out loud! this unique way of crying sounded so funny that it made me smile and melted away all my troubles, and then he giggles, and all is well in our little world once again... =D


>>> he sometimes wakes up before i do and pokes at my face and pulls my hair until i open my eyes... and then, just for me, he flashes the biggest smile with dimples on both chubby cheeks... this just makes my day! and if i'm really lucky, he throws in a kiss or two on the lips and cheeks, even without me forcing him to do so... and if i'm really, really lucky, he lets me hug him for a while without squirming and it sure feels like heaven... ***sigh***


>>> he sings "twinkle twinkle little star" and "good morning sa iyo" when he's excited, frustrated or just bored... the tone would depend on his mood... regardless of how he sings, his singing is always music to my ears... 6 months ago he can't even utter his name... each word that comes out of his little mouth is a blessing... each time he does what he's told to do is something to be applauded... each giggle sends my heart aflutter... hehehe! 


thank you, Lord for this little bear! ;P

thank you, Lord!!!

waking up to the sight of this smiling bear
every morning makes me feel like
i'm the luckiest girl! ♥♥♥  

who's your daddy?

ever since the thought of me becoming a single mother has sank in, i've always been a little worried about what i was going to say to my little bear when THE TIME comes --the time when he'll ask about his father... i was somewhat relieved when i learned he was autistic when he was around 2 because back then i knew very little about children in the autism spectrum and i thought he'd be so engrossed in his own little world that he wouldn't care about where he came from and wouldn't bother to ask me the dreaded question which, up to now, i don't know how to answer. a little sigh of relief for me back then... little did i know that this little bear is one persistent little fella... he tries super hard to communicate with me and the rest of the world (sooo proud of him for this!) and i just know in my heart that he'll be conversing in no time. at the rate he is going now, i have a feeling i would need to start preparing what i will be telling him in the not so distant future about HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED (the F word!!! --F as in Father hehehe!) i don't want to tell lies to my son, i just want to sugarcoat the truth a little bit --the truth is, the person who shares his DNA didn't want anything to do with us. that had made me feel rejected for a long time and i don't want my boy to be as sad as i had been... rejection in any form sucks! although i am still apprehensive about our future TALK about his biological father, i am happy that my 4 year old little autistic bear is thriving and getting curious about the world around him. he is beginning to speak in a few phrases and sentences and is now more able to express his needs... i have a feeling he's going to be asking a lot of questions real soon. for now, i will just enjoy the happy social smiles and giggles coming from my little bear and cheer him on when he says words appropriately... i'll worry about the future when it comes, i'll just have to wing it then... wish me luck! i got this... wink! wink! wink!

i got  you babe!!!

your eyes are so pretty

i wish for you on a falling star wondering where you are and do
i ever cross your mind in the warm sunshine ~~~ LFO

i haven't liked anyone in a really, really long time. but there is this one person who i really super dooper like (to the highest level!) and he's getting married, but not to me! =( booohooo! this isn't news to me. i knew he was engaged to be married when i met him, but that didn't stop me from liking him. i'll never admit this to him but deep down i was wishing he'd wake up one morning and realize that i was the right one for him, and he'd leave his soon to be wife at the altar and instead elope with me... haha what a fairy tale, i know! the reality of his upcoming change in civil status is only beginning to hit me... and although i know he and i will still be friends, i am pretty sure not everything will stay the same. i, for one, would feel uncomfortable talking late at night with a married man. he's such a decent man though... always kind, never inappropriate, and forever a gentleman that i can't help but want him for myself (yeah, yeah, yeah, i'm a witch for wanting someone else's man!) seriously, i've come across so many losers lately that it's quite refreshing to meet such a gem of a man, and such eye candy too... cool hairstyle always held in place by hair gel, pretty eyes and lashes to die for, and a smile that sends arrows straight to my heart (cheezy!). he's got a good head on his shoulder, can carry out an intelligent conversation, and a witty sense of humor to top it all off. i wish i had a man like this one. i know the one for me is out there... i hope he finds me real soon... hehehe! in the meantime, i'll try to better myself in preparation for my meeting with my very own mr.right... the one who wants to marry no one else but me! =)

~~~ keep your heart open to dreams. 

for as long as there's a dream, there is hope, 

and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living. ~~~

Weaving Dreams

We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving. 

And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing...

A friend of mine was in the process of turning a dream into reality, but then, life stepped in the way and the journey was cut short... I feel bad for him because I know he really wanted this to happen. I, on the other hand, from the start did not approve of his choice of career path because I somehow felt that his safety would be compromised, so I am somewhat relieved that he is no longer going to that unsafe place. But still, I am sad for him because I know how it feels to want something so much, and just as that thing that you want is within reach, all of a sudden it is no longer attainable and your heart just feels like it has been ripped out of your chest... ***sigh*** My friend must be devastated and I just wanna hug him... I hope he realizes that there will be other dreams... and I hope he knows that although at times I may not agree with the choices that he makes, I am always here for him if ever he needs me... 
I LOVE YOU, my friend! You know who you are... wink! wink! wink! HUGS from me... 
KISSES from teetanz bear...

Reach for the stars!!!

Dream new dreams...

☆☆☆ Sometimes on the way to the dream 

you get lost and find a better one.☆☆☆