who's your daddy?

ever since the thought of me becoming a single mother has sank in, i've always been a little worried about what i was going to say to my little bear when THE TIME comes --the time when he'll ask about his father... i was somewhat relieved when i learned he was autistic when he was around 2 because back then i knew very little about children in the autism spectrum and i thought he'd be so engrossed in his own little world that he wouldn't care about where he came from and wouldn't bother to ask me the dreaded question which, up to now, i don't know how to answer. a little sigh of relief for me back then... little did i know that this little bear is one persistent little fella... he tries super hard to communicate with me and the rest of the world (sooo proud of him for this!) and i just know in my heart that he'll be conversing in no time. at the rate he is going now, i have a feeling i would need to start preparing what i will be telling him in the not so distant future about HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED (the F word!!! --F as in Father hehehe!) i don't want to tell lies to my son, i just want to sugarcoat the truth a little bit --the truth is, the person who shares his DNA didn't want anything to do with us. that had made me feel rejected for a long time and i don't want my boy to be as sad as i had been... rejection in any form sucks! although i am still apprehensive about our future TALK about his biological father, i am happy that my 4 year old little autistic bear is thriving and getting curious about the world around him. he is beginning to speak in a few phrases and sentences and is now more able to express his needs... i have a feeling he's going to be asking a lot of questions real soon. for now, i will just enjoy the happy social smiles and giggles coming from my little bear and cheer him on when he says words appropriately... i'll worry about the future when it comes, i'll just have to wing it then... wish me luck! i got this... wink! wink! wink!

i got  you babe!!!