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| gonna build my world of dreams around you my little bear... |
the saga continues... LOL! this is the scene where i left off in my story about my UNEXPECTED LIFE: i was already 6 months pregnant when my parents found out i was pregnant and my little world has gone haywire! for a month or two me and C were planning our future little life together... he would be at the delivery room with me to hold my hand when i gave birth to baby tristan (he and i both came up with the name), i'll go back to work after my maternity leave, he'll work hard and help me out in taking care of the baby... we were building sandcastles in the air, but all that came crashing down when i let my parents take over all pregnancy related decision making. why did i let them? maybe out of guilt because i knew i disappointed them big time by getting knocked up, maybe because i felt like i didn't know what i was doing, maybe because i was just so happy they didn't decide to disown me... my parents decided that i leave makati right away... leave my job, my friends, my life, and C who has been my anchor in the stormy sea of chaos also known as my little world. i decided to go along with whatever they planned for me because i knew they had my best interest at heart, and i also thought it was best to have and raise my baby in the place where i grew up in. and so i tearfully said goodbye to my beloved makati along with the people who've become my family when mine was miles away. C asked me "what about our plans?" and i told him we could still go with what we've planned, i'll just have the baby in my hometown and when the baby gets a little older i'll come back.
deep down i wasn't really sure if i could really go back to makati, but i wanted to because C was there and i have grown to love my life in that big city... the job, the friends, the fun i had on my days off from work, the little world i have built for myself... in makati i wasn't RMA's daughter or martin's sister or my family's unica hija. i had a clean slate when i moved to makati, i was who i was and people accepted me for that. but i thought to myself that i could always go back when the baby got older and raising an infant in the big city was gonna be hard anyway. and so i went back to the place i grew up in. it was my home but somehow it didn't feel like it, it wasn't that familiar to me anymore. for the first few months it felt like i was only visiting, it was a transient place... maybe because my heart was still in makati, where my best friend C was. he and i lost touch after that, i shed some tears over it, and moved on. i had to move on... crying over what could have been wasn't an option, i had a baby on the way!
on the month that i was going to give birth, i had a surprise visit from my old friend E. it was a whirlwind thing, and to make the long story short, he and i ended up planning a life together. i knew i was on the rebound but i kept convincing myself that this was what was best for my little tristan bear who was growing inside of me. E loved tristan even before the baby was born. i even named the baby after him because i consider him the father of my child. DNA doesn't make a person someone's father, LOVE does... and papaE loved little TRISTAN ENRICO. he still does to this date, and even though he and i are no longer a couple, he still loves my kid as his own, and for that i will be forever grateful... ***smile***
fast forward to present time, my little bear is now 3 and i'm still living at home, still single. not the life i've planned but i've grown to love it anyway. the dream of picking up where i left off careerwise is still there somewhere but for now my little bear comes first. i couldn't find it in my heart to leave him for 9 hours to go to work. what i tell people when asked why i don't work is because my baby is too attached to me but actually it's the other way around: it is me who is very much attached to my kid hehehe! since the day he was born i haven't been away from him for a whole day, and except for his first 5 nights in the hospital nursery, he has slept beside me every night of his life, and that's how i like it! my dear friend PRECY told me about serendipity and i've realized that it best describes my unexpected life and how i feel about where the universe has taken me... precisely!!! (wink wink wink thanks gurl! ***mwah***)
SERENDIPITY. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for. ~~~ Lawrence Block
TTLE BEAR!!!
TTLE BEAR!!!
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